THE SEDONA ADVENTURE

Part 1: The Internal Monologue

Bright and early yesterday morning is when the four of us hopped in Jessica's Jeep Cherokee.

Destination: Sedona, AZ
Time of Departure: 7:00 am
Time of Arrival: 9 ish
Weather Conditions: Cold. Damn cold.

Sedona if a very beautiful place and if you haven't been there at least once, you should go as soon as you can. Strange red mountains, thickets of trees, and you know what... we should have taken pictures.

We found a little cozy campsite just off the road where we would spend the night. In the beginning it was only John, Jessica, Brian, and myself who were enjoying this forrest wonderland until later when we acquired neighbors. They were folks who camped in their cars while we got to experience the wonders of nature and all she had to offer that night. More on that in a future update.

While Brian and Jessica felt the need to nap in the tent for a good portion of the day, John and myself took it upon ourselves to go exploring a little around the camp site. This was nice since the camp site was located next to a creek with lots of fallen trees for us to cross over on. Conversation was difficult and has been for a while now. I fear that recent events have sapped my once pleasant personality and has left it empty. I find that I'm no longer funny, witty, or as entertaining as I used to be because I've got all this shit on my mind.

Also, camping has a weird effect on the body. When you try to live with only a limited supply of food, the body goes into a strange mode that doesn't make sense. It's constantly hungry, and this is bad If you have a limited supply of food. You should want to eat less so you can eat more later. Seems pretty logical, right? Well my body didn't seem to agree and neither did John's. I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich on a bagel, and moments later I was hungry for more. The hunger just kept coming. John on the other hand was constantly eating as if he was in fear that if he didn't eat on the hour every hour he'd vanish into the thin, cold, air.

This effect added to what was an interesting internal monologue.

Brain: Well, we're here in Sedona. It's gorgeous and just smell that mountain air! Maybe I can finally relax and get some peace.
Stomach: I'm hungry.
Brain: We just fed you an hour ago? How the hell are you still hungry?
Stomach: Look, you've been keeping me mal-nourished for over a month and a half, get me some food already.
Brain: Look jerkass, live off the rest of the reserve. There's still some left on the sides that can go. Now, back to relaxing.
Heart: You know, it's times like this I really miss ...
Brain: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Heart: What? I do alright, is that a crime?
Brain: YES! Yes you asshole. Thinking like that is what got us here in the first place. NOW SHUT UP
Heart: Look I don't care what happened alright, you're not seeing the big picture here.
Brain: Good god, you're an idiot.
Stomach: Are you going to feed me or not?
Brain: Alright, give us a few minutes to sit here, enjoy the view of this lovely creek next to the mountain so... you know... we can RELAX. Then yes you will be fed.
Stomach: What are you going to feed me?
Brain: How about some spicy beef jerky? Huh? NOW CAN WE JUST RELAX... PLEASE?
Stomach: Oh alright... still hungry though
Heart: Look, it's a beautiful view and should be shared with someone. Your friends are all occupied and you're sitting here alone which I think IS a crime.
Brain: Didn't I tell you to shut up already?
Stomach: Look we're 168 lbs, it wont be against the law if we eat a little.
Brain: I know, I know... goddamnit would you both be quiet! The whole purpose of being here is to have some peace and quiet. I need to think on what to do with the rest of us for the next 40 years.
Heart: Sorry *sniffle*
Stomach: Just feed me already.

John: Hey buddy, you okay?
David: Yeah. I guess I'm still grieving, you know? By the way, are you really hungry?
John: Oh you have no idea.
David: Well then let's grab some food out of the car. I can't wait to try that self-heating lasagna I acquired from the camping goods store.

Conclusion: Self-heating lasagna, is not lasagna. While warm and squishy it should not be classified as food.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Snooty Cafe