My adventures as a polar bear.
Last nite I participated in Mr. Roland's annual "Midnite Swim." Having missed this event for the past few years I felt obligated to make an appearance this year. The concept of the event is easy to grasp. All anyone needs to do is follow these 3 steps.
- Jump in boiling hot spa and heat up.
- Jump in freezing cold pool.
- Jump out of pool and back into spa.
The effect on the body this creates is very interesting. The reaction to the cold is one of complete shock. The first instinct is to GET THE FUCK OUT of the pool and back into the spa as quickly as possible. When the body goes back into the boiling hot spa there's a bit of a delayed reaction. The body goes numb, and in about 15-20 second later the stinging pain of the hot water starts to penetrate the skin. Imagine the feeling of hundreds of red hot sewing needles driving themselvs deep within the muscles. That's what a real rugged fellow would say is a "good kind of hurt," and it is.
For this particular event, it was Brandon, Brian, Joey, John, and myself. Brandon was the first to go into the pool after heating up in the spa. He just sat up on the edge and said the Eric Cartman catchphrase of "Screw you guys, I'm going home." Like a scuba diver, he just flopped backwards into the icy death that was the pool. Immediately after being submerged into the water, Brandon flies back into the spa as if some viscious sea monster decided to throw him away. I'm somewhat reminded of when R2-D2 was spit out of that swamp monster in Degobah.
The problem here was that I wanted to go first and be the big man. Brandon took that from me, so naturally I had to go next. Without any grace at all I jumped in the pool. The deadly cold took a hold of me and I shook violently. Knowing that I couldn't complete this task without dunking my head, I shoved my head underneath the water and whipped it back as fast as possible. Scurrying back into the spa, I was more than happy to have the feeling of red hot needles piercing my muscles. Everyone in the pool could not stop laughing. Apparently my violent shaking while in the pool made them all think I was being eaten by an invisible shark.
John and Brian were next, they're reactions were no less comical but they weren't as memorable. Joey ended up being last and at this time we were giving each other challenges. Brandon wanted to do laps and Joey was given a special task. He had to jump in the pool, swim out to the steps, get out of the pool and walk back to the spa without any screaming. I told him that if he were to do this it would be the best acting performance from him that I've ever seen. Of course he couldn't back down from a challenge like that. He jumped in the pool, swam out to the steps, got ouf of the pool, and walked back to the spa. All without any violent shaking or any screaming. I was impressed... of course once in the spa he bawled like a baby. That was alright, he earned it.
Supposedly doing this sort of activity is bad for your health. But hey, I'm still alive and the experience was a lot of fun. I can't wait until next year.
