So yesterday I went out to look for a Job with my friends Brian and Gurg at the nearby casino. Luckily for me the casino is just a few miles south of my home, one of the perks of living on the Southern (ass) end of Phoenix. In this town if you go south of Pecos Rd. you're pretty much in reservation territory. The Gila River casino has changed over the few years I've been here. First it started out small like about the size of a Chuckie Cheese, then they moved into this large circus tent like place, an now it's a giant resort. It's a nice facility and the Human Resources department was shockingly not hidden and in plain view. Of course trying to get there was a bit tough and involved driving through a labyrinth of backroads that led us first to the resort area and not the casino area that we wanted. That's okay, it gave us some time to listen to some Minibosses mp3's I burned to disc. By the time we arrived at the HR department, OF COURSE it was closed at exactly 5:00 on a Friday. Damn people, don't they know they should be staying late just to give me a job?

Well that was a complete bust, so we headed back up I-10 to Ray rd. where one of those Americanized sake/sushi bar+grill establishments happens to be. The place is called RA, which is the dumbest title of all, because "RA" is just a syllable in Japanese. Imagine going up to your friend and alerting him or her that you want to go to your favorite Bar+Grill "SE" because they have excellent fried pork asses. Well certainly telling your friend that you want to eat fried pork ass is silly enough, but you get my point. Of course a place like "RA" appeals to the mindless hordes of rich, approaching middle aged, white people that live in my community. To be honest, I don't know how these people got rich, or jobs for that matter. Here I sit constantly searching for a job, while these idiots (and I know they're idiots... I've fixed their computers) somehow have yearly incomes of over $60k a year yet don't understand that when they kick out the ethernet cable from their computer that it will no longer "get the internet." However, that's not the point. The point is... fake breasts. The richer a community is, the more often you'll see women with fake breasts. Phoenix, Arizona is for what I can tell the capital of fake breasts, fake tans, and giant short bus yellow H2's (one of those ridiculously large hummer vehicles).

"But... aren't you male? Don't men like large breasts?"

Hey, I like a large pair of lovely knockers as much as the next guy, but with me it's all natural or nothing. I'd rather a woman's breasts be small and natural than looking like someone shoved a softball underneath her skin. It's just not attractive. So this is what Brian, gurg, and Myself saw at "Ra's" while we were eating cheap sushi. Women with fake breasts.

The moral of the story
Jobs are hard to find. Human Resource departments close at 5:00 pm sharp. People in Ahwatukee are rich, white, and dumb. And...

nothing gets me hot like 100% ALL NATURAL LASER BOOBS!

That is all.

Here's a picture that grossed me the fuck out after I did it. Sometimes I make shit that's really sick, but I don't realize I'm making it so until after I'm finished.



How lovely. The story behind this one is that someone in an irc channel gave me the picture on the left to do "nasty things to" but didn't want to me to alert the person in the picture (who also frequents the channel) that he'd given it to me. Now right off the bat, the person who gave me the picture is an idiot. The girl would know he gave away the image as soon as she saw it photoshopped. With that being understood, I thought Ithat something horrific would be best instead of the obvious lewd joke. So cutting out her cheek from the inside with a switchblade (hard to see) was the only sensible idea I could come up with.

Right now I feel like shit flattened out by a wooden mallot. I also need a job, do any of you out there have a job you want to give away? Today I got up at 9:00, a little hazy but nothing I couldn't handle. At around 9:30 I go to turn the old "machine" one and check all the usual websites and emails. Hopefully in about 2 hours I'll head out with my friend's Brian and Gurg to look for jobs at a nearby indian casino. Although I don't think this will be successful for me, since my Father is a former employee of this casino which the current tribal council of the reservation has bad blood with. This is a sign among many other signs that it is time for me to get the hell out of Arizona.

Okay, here's something I made really quick last night in about half an hour. This was for my friend, Nick's, birthday. For those who don't know, the character hugging him is Drizzt, which I guess is from the Dark Elf trilogy. I wouldn't know, I've never been a big fan of fantasy novels. If I had more time I would've really done this one up well, however... I got the source image rather late last night and if I wanted to get it done that day, I had to rush it.

Oh well, here's the picture.

Once again, more face blending! And this time I went too far!

Just like before, here's the original picture.



That ugly kid again<== this is a link, click on it you jerk wads!

And here's the final result.



I'm ready to throw up, how about you?

Well, my shoulder no longer hurts.

Right now I'm thinking of what else to put up. While I have a whole ton of pictures I still haven't posted, I wanted to put up some of a series that I did that take not only some explaining but some uploading that I haven't done yet. Seeing as how I'm posting this from a computer not my own, I cannot do this now. But, my shoulder no longer hurts and this is good. For the first time in a long while, I failed at a photoshop. When the word "failure" comes up, it means that an attempt was made to take an image in my mind and make it into a 2 dimensional reality. Molly (you'll learn about her later for those who aren't in the know) asked me to photoshop a picture of her and her cat. She said she wanted her eyes to be empty, but have a full thrid eye in the center of her forehead. She also didn't want her cat to be horrifically zombitized. As for other requirements she desired a more "Dali" look. Unfortunately a figure that has 2 empty eyes and one full eye in the center isn't exactly Dali's style. I figured I'd do something similar to Barlowe's Inferno. Figures looking like they're made of cracked stone while having glowing sigils appear in front of their faces. Unfortunately I did not have the scans or textures to do this, and the book itself costs 25 bucks just for 24 some odd pages.

So to make a long story short, I tried and failed. The source image given to me was too dark and too grainy to do what I wanted to do with it. So it's back to the drawing board... or worse... I may have to use poser. I HATE poser. The man who designed the interface for that program should be slowly tortured by having his skin burned off with hot irons. But yes, I failed... and I hate failing.

So... I'll talk about some success I've had with face blending. You've already seen it before with the ebert picture below. Here's some pictures I did for a forum called NoCarlNo (don't ask). Here's the rundown, on this forum there's this whiney 16 year old MALE greaseball who has a very feminine appearance. The running joke is that other forumers will find pictures that look like this kid and challenge me to meld the faces. So here are some examples.

Here's the original picture.



Here's the ugly kid<== this is a link, click on it you jerk wads!

And here's the result



More later, stay tuned!

I don't like volleyball, and my arm hurts like hell.

So today I thought I'd go play volleyball with my friends, which I guess is something they do every sunday. I haven't played volleyball since I was in the 5th grade, and tonight I was reminded why. While I was position near the net, I went to go spike the ball down on the opposing team's end of the court, only to find that an old shoulder injury of mine decided to come back to haunt me. It hasn't happened in quite some time, so long in fact that I thought the dislocating deal was finally stopped. Well not so. It's never fun having your shoulder slip out from underneath your collar bone. Never fun at all. So that happened and then I went for a little walk only to come back and play another game. Unfortunately by the end of the game my arm started to swell up and say "fuck you" to my brain every time I wanted to move it. Seeing as how I was the odd man out anyway, I sat out for the next two games. After just sitting around I realized that I should merely go home. I was already being the odd man out along with being a bump on a log and at that time I figured it was best to leave early. I would have plenty of time to go home to prepare to capture tonight's episode of Big O season 2 (great show, for all who don't know).

So to sum things up, I don't like volleyball. To me it's a really unfun silly game. A lot like ping pong only with more people, a higher net, and loads of sand that seems to get everywhere. Yes, much like Anakin Skywalker, I don't have much love for sand. Oh well, I still have Big O to watch so the evening isn't a total waste. Cheers.

Okay so it's been a few days since I put something up.



This delightful little image was done by using a composite of poser, beksinksi paintings for texture, and scans from the wonderful book Anatomica Encylopedia. The book has many photographs of wax sculptures that were made to depict vivisections that were performed on human bodies in the late 16th century. Seeing as how photographs didn't exist back then, some folk in that age were smart enough to preserve reality in other forms of reproduction.

Back to the picture, I always wanted to do a picture that showed one of the munch-ish creatures tearing off their expressionist skin to reveal a very real physique of muscle, bone, and tissue. It was also to show a transition of mine from doing the poser style stuff, to working on human bodies. Seeing as how by that time I hated poser with a passion, this seemed like a good thing to do. I have no idea why the picture is as small as it turned out. I think it's because at the time I had just gotten a new viewsonic flat panel monitor, but had to deal with the problem of it having only a native resolution of 1024x768. When I learn how to make more detailed figures in either maya or 3dsmax, I'll try and recreate this picture.

Yeah this might be relevant at christmas time. Same business as before, you know how this was done so I don't need to explain it. I do dig the hat though.

Alright, so here's that new format I promised you. It's all dark and spooky and shit. As if it were made by some 17 year old gothic retard. HOORAY!

Trying out a new format... soon I'll get this thing fixed, I swear.

Don't worry folks, a massive overhaul of this blog will happen sooner or later once I figure out a good html scheme. Since this one currently sucks... A LOT.

Now is the time I'm supposed to up another picture. I think continuing on the whole "texturizing" business might be the way to do it, but I was instructed by my good friend, John Roland, to do something that isn't so "photoshoppy."

Okay so here's an old picture of mine. One of my first attempts to add detail to a real human figure. Now I realize that this may raise some questions. Yes in the one picture the girl is nude, and yes I covered it over. You'd be surprised what people send me and ask me to do to them. Out of respect to those people I typically keep the picture between me and them. In this case I was given permission to put these up everywhere since the identity of the person can't be determined by the picture and furthermore all the naughty bits have been covered over. So no harm done. So yeah, this is me screwing around in photoshop trying to add parts of giger painting to the human skin.

In honor of Roger Ebert getting cursed with cancer by Vincent Gallo, here's Mr. Ebert as a Spacing Guild translator from the 1984 Dune movie directed by David Lynch.



THE SPICE MUST FLOW

There, those are some of my first photoshopped "humor" movie posters. The first two were a result of me finding out in April of 2000 that Hitler does indeed equal comedy. The second picture, is a common internet joke. Now most of us internet folk know what goatse.cx is, we've seen the horror and have gotten over it. For those of you who haven't heard or seen of it, DO NOT GO TO THAT URL. The problem with internet jokes such as that is that while they're funny to some, they're terrifying to others. I showed it to John once to get him to understand the joke and he promptly punched me in the arm afterwards.

Alright, I think after two days you's sick of seeing that woman's zombified face. So I'll continue on with "catching up to that image." Here we have Poser4.jpg, the last of the "Poser" series before I went off and started doing photographs.



With this I wanted to try something a little different. Before I was using Giger paintings for texture and this one was done using Beksinksi paintings. Unfortunately for the life of me I can't remember which ones. Done in the same style as the others only this time I added a background. Now this used to be a picture I was proud of for a while, until I realized I put WAY too much radial blur on it, and I forgot to save the damn thing as a .psd before closing photoshop. :( Looking back now, without that effect the picture would've looked tons better.

Now let's bring something to light, the use of filters in photoshop. Very rarely are filters really worth a damn. Most of the time they just look like a cheesy effect rather than anything you want to incorporate into making a decent image. Photoshop is a program that you can pretty much do anything with, sure it has its limitations. Other programs like "Painter" can create richer color tones, but for the most part, Photoshop is what you need to get the job done. Everyone who starts out using the program including myself starts toying around with filters. It's just the way you learn with it, then years later you start to go away from doing these things as you see the cheesy effects everywhere to personal web pages to poorly designed book covers. As for myself, I started shying away from obvious photoshop material and started to experiment, which is how I came to making zombies. In the latest picture that you see below this post, I didn't use a single filter effect. The image was constructed layer by layer, step by step. Now it's not perfect, and even though I said "it's done," it's not really done. I can look at at bunch of things in that picture and realize that I can make little details better if I just put the work into it.

Now after this post, I'm going to take a little break from showing you all zombies and start describing some of the more humorous images I've created in the past.

Yo yo yo, here it comes with the funky flow. I finished up uglybitch and here it is!



Here you can see how this little monstrosity progressed. Click on each image to see the fullsized version in a new window.



So what was done with it? Well I added some additional layers of roots to the left side (her right) of her face. I adjusted the properties just enough to make that patch of skin rather leahtery. Same was done to the right side (her left) of the face to help darken some areas. Textures of a filthy gutter was added to show a little rough bone material as well as to hide the soft edge eraser tool marks left in uglybitchb.jpg. The remaining piece of clothing that sits in the bottom left corner was taken care of by merely apllying some green with the paint brush in a separate layer at low opacity.

Alright, as I work on the new stuff I'll continue to write about the old. Eventually I'll catch up, just you wait.



Yup, that's "Poser3.jpg" It's still one of my favorites after all this time. Another happy accident that came about through trying to recreate the original "poser" image. You know, that little red image just below. By this time, I realized I was being a tad bit Munch-ish with these images. The first image could easily be described as "terror," the second "remorse," and this one is most certainly "agony." Out of all the images, this one is the least "physical" and has the appearance of a ghost. A spirit who wont give up on his memories of being alive, twisted and tortured by them in death. Eternal agony, doesn't that sound like fun? Care to see how the image originally looked?



I figured the color was too similar from poser2, so I switched it to blue. To enhance the ghost like appearance, I created the red gas like substance coming out of the eyes and mouth. Not only is this really creepy... it was also really easy to do. I simply made a new layer in photoshop, took the paint brush tool and added to red in the areas. I set the layer properties to vivid light and BAM, instant creepy ghost gas. I figure with a ghost or ethereal form, some kind of ether or gas should be like blood, hence the red color.

I think it's a good time as any to explain my ever growing fascination with death. While I consider these pictures a far cry from fine art, they aren't without their merit. Anything that lives, dies. In the world of fact, there exists no immortality of biological life. Life starts out small. A cell multiplies and becomes a group of cells. If the cells continue along this path, it becomes tissue. The body becomes a complicated bag of different tissues. Muscles, veins, nerves, all supported by an odd thing we know as a skeleton. The body grows into it's peak form, and then slowly decays. Skin becomes like filthy canvas tarp covering over a rusty broken down motorcycle. The decaying process continues after the outer layer of tissue is fully dissovled, the inner structure of the body begins to unravel like an old piece of string. For all our intelligence, our understanding of our existence, we cannot prevent ourselves from dying. Everything that we are, and ever was, will soon end up broken down to the smallest collections of atoms to be dispersed acrossed the universe. Just remember, in life... no one makes it out alive.

It's easy to become fascinated with death, because everyone who is reading this right now is in fact dying. Their cells have already started that process in which fewer are being replicated each year. The skin will lose its firm elasticity, and the eyes will not be able to focus very well because their shape will change due to decay. The ever pumping muscle that is the heart will become worn and slow. Knowing this, one could look at another young, healthy person and see the way they will look in decay. What will happen to their body after they die. It's most interesting to look at people when they are at their peak of being a biological organism and imagine what they'll look like in death. Since everyone around you will one day be dead, it's not hard to see the decayed and rotting skull hiding behind the smiling face that is looking at you. Most people just choose to ignore it.

So then when you see these images, ask yourself a few simple questions. Why do they disgust or disturb you? Is it a fear of your own mortality? Is it mere survival that makes most people feel this way about seeing depictions of death? Is it part of a human survival instinct, or is it mere cultural conditioning? If you're disturbed by these pictures and still feel they're eyecandy, perhaps you haven't been asking yourself the right questions.

Okay, comments should be added, so have fun.

Hi everyone, welcome to Monday. Here's my latest creation.







It's not quite finished, there's some work that needs to be done on the lighting of the figure, but I'm almost there! Just the same old business. Find layers
for texture, slap them on and do some adjusting. Except this time I used pieces of a real skull and just some of my own photographs of tree roots in my backyard. The skin on the neck and shoulders is a picture of corroded metal. That's all nice, but I still haven't told all my story. After "Poser.jpg," that nice little red picture you've seen before, I made "Poser 2.jpg."



Yeah I know, I'm not good with names. I got a real kick out of making Poser.jpg so I thought I'd try to replicate the process. Something that had the same creepy giger texture but ended up creating a form of wicker man / swamp thing feel. So this time I decided to show a little more of the body. I tried to make the abdominal area look like some malformed hardshelled arthropod like body. Meh, I've always said this is my least favorite of my pictures.

So here it is... a blogger.

Here's how it goes. I post a piece of artwork and I will give a description on how I made it.



Many of you have seen this before, it was the first non joking photoshop I did that I was ever proud of. All of this started when I wanted to stray away from doing the plain old copy&paste style photoshop humor as seen in many "Photoshop Phridays" on SomethingAwful.com and do something, I don't know... slightly more interesting. I wanted to take a figure, whether it be real or cg modeled, and texturize it with pre-exsting forms. I started with creepy Beksinski and Giger painting and now have moved on to real life objects such as roots and gravel. My first attempt at this, was a picture I made back in October of 2002. I was halfway through my last semester in college and I was very miserable.



Now the final result is titled poser because I used the program "Poser 4" to make the figure. Poser if you didn't know already, is the program Jesus uses when he wants to make crude cg porn. I was introduced to this program by the citizens of FYAD, who use it to make such hillarious compositions as this gem of an image right here.


Yes... well isn't that lovely.

Anyway, I created the figure. Colored the skin blue and the background green... much like how they set things up to do composite imagery for movies. This makes areas of light and dark easy to select later in photoshop when I import it as a .bmp file. I know I've been given much praise for some of the stuff I've done, but honestly it's so very simple. You take the figure, select areas of light and dark with the magic wand tool, and simply just make a layer mask. With each new layer, paint on detail from another source, in this case I used a Giger painting, and apply it in the appropriate areas. I did this with 3 layers, adjusted the properties to "vivid light" then merely changed the overall color and added a little zoom blur. Wallah! Finished. Now I just need to learn how to edit the style sheet of this blasted blog busines and then you'll see some really cool stuff.