Saturday, July 31, 2004

COMIC-CON: PRE-CON

That's right, I was supposed to post this about 5 days ago. And now I shall describe to you the day of Wed., July 21st, 2004.

THE CAR RIDE

Typical for my friends and I, we managed to leave phoenix a little later than planned. At 10:30 AM Nick, Brandon, and myself were all packed away in Nick's car and went South to Queen Creek Rd. From there and until San Diego we played the "Guess which word I'm thinking that starts with the letter..." game. This simple activity would provide us with enough entertainment while we zipped on passed sand dunes, mountains, and sage brush. Brandon was the best at the game since he memorized a series of words that originate from the Iliad.

After passing through Yuma and the obligatory "Are you a Mexican?" border patrol stop in between Arizona and California, the three of us were traveling through the gorgeous green hills that sprout up out of the horizon when approaching San Diego. Unfortunately for us, we arrived in San Diego precisely when rush hour traffic decided to make its appearance. It was at this time the rear-right tire of Nick's automobile felt the need to blow out. Being in the far left lane, we were forced to pull over to the center divide since there was no way the car could be manuevered over to the right shoulder during rush hour.

Have a look. The picture of the left is of Nick leaning on his wounded car. The picture on the right is the tire that mysteriously turned into rubberized form of shredded wheat.

   


DISASTER!

How would we make it to the con? How did we changed the tire without getting killed? How was I going to meet up with my old friends Allison and Jeremy who drove all the way down from L.A. to visit me?

All those questions will be answered plus more later. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

WEB DESIGN SUPER FUN

Today I spent a good portion of my day off working on a website for my good friend Brandon Becker. If you haven't read about Brandon's book Life as a Dream then please click on the link and learn more.

Although my original design for B's website wasn't too shabby, too many tabled elements and embedded flash text took forever to load. Additionally I moved many of the pages to my own webhosting so B doesn't have to suffer through looking at the damned mywebpage banner on the top of everyone of his pages.

There's still more work to be done, especially with the navigation menu to the left, but at least it's a full functioning web page.

Monday, July 26, 2004

COMMAS

Here's a quick and informative lesson about commas brought to you by the University of Phoenix online library.
Definition of COMMAS (,)
COMMAS SEPARATE PARTS OF A SENTENCE OR SET OFF WORDS OR PHRASES FROM THE REST OF A SENTENCE.

BETWEEN ITEMS IN A SERIES
Rule #1
Use a comma to separate a series of three or more equal words,
phrases, or complete statements. (The last comma is optional,
but we suggest you put it in for clarity.)

Examples of Rule #1
You need a glove, a ball, and a bat to play baseball.

I went to the post office, bought groceries, and took my car to
the repair shop.

I wrote the proposal, Sara Jung typed it, and Mike Smith
presented it.

DO NOT use a comma if you join the series with and.

You need a glove and a ball and a bat to play baseball.

DO NOT use a comma before an ampersand (&) in an organization
name, unless the comma is used by the organization.

John works for Smith, Jones & Wade.

BETWEEN PARTS OF A SENTENCE
Rule #2:
Use a comma before one of the conjunctions in the acronym F.A.N.B.O.Y.S.
(for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) if the conjunction joins two complete,
independent statements. (Each statement has a subject and a verb.)

Examples of Rule #2:
She plans to work all summer, and she will save the money she makes.

DO NOT use a comma unless both of the statements are
complete and independent.

She plans to work all summer and save the money she makes.

DO NOT use a comma to separate two complete statements
with a F.A.N.B.O.Y.S. conjunction if the sentence has an
introductory word or phrase that applies to both statements.

Please take out the garbage and empty the dishwasher.

BETWEEN TWO WORDS
Rule #3:
Use a comma between two adjectives ONLY if you can reverse the
adjectives and the sentence still makes sense. DO NOT use a comma
if the adjectives cannot be reversed.

Examples of Rule #3:
The talkative, noisy group was asked to leave the restaurant.

I went to a tough high school.

Rule #4:
Use a comma to separate two identical verbs next to
each other in a sentence.

Examples of Rule #4:
Whatever happens, happens.

Rule #5:
Use a comma to separate words repeated for emphasis.

Examples of Rule #5:
This project took a long, long time to complete.

BEFORE AND AFTER NONESSENTIAL INFORMATION
Rule #6:
Use a comma before and after words or phrases that are not
essential to the main idea of the sentence. If you place a comma
before and after a phrase, you should be able to remove the
phrase, and the sentence will still make sense.

Examples of Rule #6:
Needless to say, I am going to be late.

Most people, on the other hand, will attend the reception.

The magazine, issued in July 1998, sold more copies than any
other magazine in history.

Rule #7:
Use a comma to set off words that are not essential and that
interrupt the natural flow of a sentence. Examples of such words
are listed below. These words may be used at the beginning,
in the middle, or at the end of a sentence.

Examples of Rule #7:
accordingly in the meantime no doubt
after all in other words by the way
also nevertheless consequently
as a result as a rule for example
in fact on the other hand furthermore
perhaps indeed therefore
however on the contrary finally
of course without a doubt unfortunately

Beginning: I have always disliked mowing the lawn. However,
because my dad ’s back was injured, I wanted to help by doing
his yard work.

Middle: The woman was a natural, no doubt, and confidently
sang the song for the audience.

End: Everyone thought Tom was injured from the accident.
He said he felt just fine, under the circumstances.

DO NOT use a comma when the word or phrase is necessary
to understand the meaning of a sentence. The word or
phrase will usually answer the question when? where? why?
how? or which one(s)?

The store located in the mall is having a sale. (where? in the mall)

Employees who are on time will be rewarded. (which ones? those who are on time)

AFTER INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION
Rule #8:
Use a comma after introductory information placed before
the subject of a sentence. Some punctuation guides state
you can omit the comma if the statement is short. We suggest
you use a comma for clarity.

Examples of Rule #8:
In our company, rules must be followed.

Oh, you are not going to the party?

When I finished the first book, I began to read another one.

To make this pie, you need fresh cream.

As agreed, we will bill you monthly for our services.

Rule #9:
If introductory information is followed by two complete, independent
statements, use a comma only after the introductory information.

Examples of Rule #9:
If you have your sales receipt, you can return the shoes or you
can exchange them for a different pair.

WITH A DIRECT ADDRESS
Rule #10:
Use a comma when you address a person or group
of people directly.

Examples of Rule #10:
Kathy, where are you going?

Please excuse yourselves, parents, so we can talk with the children.

WHEN RENAMING A NOUN
Rule #11:
Use a comma before and after a phrase that explains or renames
a noun immediately before the phrase. DO NOT use a comma
when the phrase is necessary to identify the noun.


Examples of Rule #11:
My boss, Mr. Ruby, recommended I take this class.

Will your brother Brian be at the party? (which brother? Brian)

WITH CONTRASTING OR LIMITING STATEMENTS
Rule #12:
Use a comma to separate contrasting or limiting statements.
(You can identify these statements by words such as not, never,
but, seldom, and yet.)

Examples of Rule #12:
She wants to obtain a higher-paying job, not cut back her spending.

The tickets are discounted, but only for students and seniors.

SHOW OMITTED WORDS
Rule #13:
Use a comma to signify omitted words when the context is understood.

Examples of Rule #13:
I need two tickets; four, if you can get them.

IN QUOTATIONS
Rule #14:
Use a comma before and after a quotation. DO NOT use a
comma when the quotation completes a sentence or is
woven into a sentence.

Examples of Rule #14:
He said, “I cannot make it on time.”

“It does not matter,” he replied, “if you go or not.”

He wanted to remind us that “time was valuable.”

BEFORE AND AFTER TITLES
Rule #15:
Use a comma to set off degrees or titles after a name.

Examples of Rule #15:
Steve Norton, D.D.S., spoke at graduation.

IN DATES AND ADDRESSES
Rule #16:
Use a comma after the weekday, calendar date, and year when
the full date is within a sentence. DO NOT use a comma if you
use only the month and year.

Examples of Rule #16:
On Friday, January 2, 1998, we went on vacation.

The weather in June 1997 was unusually warm.

Rule #17:
Use a comma to separate parts of an address written
in sentence form and to separate a city and a state.

Examples of Rule #17:
She lives at 5 West Drive, Portland, Oregon 99999.

Please make sure the package arrives in Sacramento, California.

WITH NUMBERS
Rule #18:
Use a comma to separate independent numbers used in a sentence.
DO NOT use a comma when a measurement is a single unit. DO NOT
use a comma to separate a number that describes another number.

Examples of Rule #18:
I spent $200, $100 of which I used for supplies.

She is 5 feet 6 inches tall.

I need two $100 tires.

AFTER SALUTATIONS AND COMPLIMENTARY CLOSES IN LETTERS
Rule #19:
Use a comma after the salutation in personal letters and
after the complimentary close in all letters.

Examples of Rule #19:
Dear Mom, Sincerely, Respectfully yours,

FOR CLARITY
Rule #20:
Use a comma when one is needed to prevent misunderstanding.

Examples of Rule #20:
According to the police, department stores must close at 9 p.m.
And there you have it. Now I'm sure a few of you are out there right now wondering "Why in the hell did he just post a gigantic set of rules for using commas?"

If you're a horrible writer like me, then you'll love to have a quick reference for these sort of things. This is also an example of the many pieces of random text I read while working at the University of Phoenix. Being a UOP employee gives me access to the largest online library resource system in the world.

To make a long story short: I was very, very bored.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

BACK HOME

After a long week of exploding tires, old friends, freezing nights, starvation, brilliant and insightful authors, sore legs, and one hell of a time... I'm finally back home from San Diego.

I'm too busy moving files to my new IRIVER IHP 120 right now to make a full sized post. Rest assured there will be many postings about san Diego along with some interesting photographs.

Stay tuned.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

TOO MUCH
 
A new week is upon us all, and this week is very special.  For the 8th time in a row I shall revisit the land of my birth and attend the ever wonderful San Diego Comic-Con International. There's no bullshit to be found in the events advertised claim of being the world's largest comic convention.

During last year's convention, my colleagues and I found ourselves extremely worn out and tired after walking the San Diego Convention Center's floor. We knew that the convention center's second wing had just completed construction and was open to be used by the convention. What we didn't know was that with the addition of this second wing, the convention center measured out to be a full half-mile in length. Within a given day each of us who went to convention must have walked up and down that building at least five or six times. All that walking made a lot of feet and legs cranky.

My calves filed a complaint to my brain which read as follows:

Dear Brain,



Stop making me move.

Yours truly,



The calves

PS - The feet hate you.


The pain is always worth the experience and I can't wait to go back.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

AHHH HELL NO!

If you stop and listen, you may hear the sound of something being scraped along a wood surface. The sound is not being produced by rats clawing at your walls but instead the sound is being produced by Isaac Asimov spinning in his grave.

No doubt by now you've seen trailers for the new Will Smith summer action movie "I, Robot."
The book, written by Asimov, is a collection of short stories that focus on Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics. 
 
A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.


Not only is "I, Robot" an interesting piece of literature that examines how mankind interacts with artificial beings, "I, Robot" is also an awesome concept album created by the Alan Parsons project.

Somehow, the Hollywood machine has created a movie in which Robots from the future go haywire and attack their creators. Instead of titling this movie "KILL ALL ROBOTS," the title of "I, Robot" was chosen despite the movie having NOTHING to do with Asimov's collection of short stories.  Well that's not entirely true.  Both Asimov's stories and this movie involve Robots.

Still basking in the glow of cinematic masterpieces such as "Wild Wild West," and "Men in Black II," Will Smith has been added as the star of the summer spectacle that will be "I, Robot." With the inclusion of Mr. Smith, I began to wonder if he would perform a new sterilized rap theme song about the 3 robot rules. The chorus can be Will Smith reciting the rules in a clever, accessible rhyme.

"Nah don't j'all tell me you forgot the rules three,
the ones the robos go by so we live in harmony,

The first of three works like a charm,
don't ever allow a human to come to no harm.

Rule two, 'scoo, is obey every human's command,
but don't break rule one, these two go hand'n'hand.

And the very last rule, is selfless too,
always protect yo'self without breaking rules one or two.

I, ROBOT! wha I ROBOT! wha I ROBOT!"


I can't wait to buy the single.

Monday, July 12, 2004

THE DAY OF TODAY

I woke up at noon, showered, ate a hamburger and found myself in the exact same place I was half a day earlier. The gentle buzzing of the fluorescent lights above confirm that at least my sense of hearing still works. Slumped in my chair staring up at the ceiling, I think to myself "I could make those ceiling tiles in Photoshop." Apply a noise filter to an off white background. Duplicate layer in black, move layer behind off white layer. Add in slight blur and reduce opacity of shadow. BAM instant office building ceiling tile. Add in some lighting effects and it would be pretty damn realistic.

I had an interesting conversation with my bathroom scale today.

Me: "Hello scale, how much do I weigh today?"

Scale: "Why you skinny bastard, you only weigh 156 lbs! Go eat something! Either that or get yourself to the doctor."

Me: "Yikes, you're right. This is pretty scary. Looks like I'll need to get re-tested for hyper thyroid."

The moral of the story: Not having medical insurance is fun and exciting!
Demotivation: Perfect for any Workplace



I used to make images like this back in college, now I could kick myself for not turning them into a business like the intelligent folks at DESPAIR.COM have done.

**content has been edited. This used to be an incomprehensible post made at 4:23 AM**

Thursday, July 08, 2004

LET'S MAKE GRUESOME ART PLEASANT

Oh snap! A whole week and not a single post! Since I have nothing in my brain to post about at 4:00 AM Thursday morning, here's a little photocopy project I made about a year ago. The premise is simple, take a piece of disturbing and/or gruesome piece of art and make it pleasant.

On the left we have Manfredi's painting of David carving up the severed head of Goliath. On the right we have my version. Enjoy.

     


The time happens to be 4:23 AM and I still haven't thrown myself into bed. Truth is, I haven't had a decent night of sleep since the 1st of December 2003. The reason for my lack of sleep 7 months ago was well known to anyone who could read and had a pulse, but as to why I still can't sleep 7 months later is somewhat of a mystery. Perhaps this odd case of insomnia is generated by a lack of desire to face the upcoming day. My hypothesis is that I don't go to bed because then I wont have to wake up and deal with the events that might occur the next day.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

MOVIE CROSSOVER

The building of Zombitorium.com has hit a big fat road block. This road block being my utter lack of creativity. Yesterday I spent hours trying to hammer out some form of design, and of course nothing worked.

So to help the creative juices flowing I thought to make a new photoshop. My own personal assignment that would attempt to combine two movie posters into one.

In this case decided to mix The Muppets Take Manhattan with Woody Allen's 1979 black and white Manhattan



The muppets text could use a little more work.